as long as it's you and i

  Alright, so I'm going to get real for just a second. And bear in mind, as I sit here typing this post out, my heart is racing. Why? Because that's what anxiety does to people in moments of raw, unfiltered reality. It's scary. But what I have to say needs to be said.  "People make time for who they want to make time for. People text, call and reply to people they want to talk to.  Never believe anyone who says they're too busy.  If they wanted to be around you, they would."   I've seen this quote, and similar ones, circulating Facebook a lot over the last few months. Every time I read them, I scroll past thinking that the person who posted it just doesn't understand. And honestly, that's all it is.  A complete misunderstanding of my world.  But the thing is, it's not just my world. And so many others who live in a world like mine don't have the strength to stand up and make their voices heard.    Well, I guess it's my turn to b...

It's amazing to me how uptight we can get when something big happens . I've decided to refrain from sharing on my Facebook the recent news pertaining to the LDS church, and it's stance on gay marriage with the addition of not allowing children in same-sex families to be baptized until they are of legal age and no longer living with their parents. Mostly because, quite frankly, I'm over it. I'm seeing it shared by both sides and both are shamelessly arguing why it's right or wrong. I'll admit, at first I was sad. And it didn't make sense to me. But I've since evaluated other's views and retraced my own views and decided that it doesn't affect me much and I'm not going to let it get to me. What I'm sad about now, is the way we are all treating each other because of these "changes". And seeing people I love dearly being bashed because of what they believe in, regardless of which side they are on. Why do we do this to each...

I've been battling myself a lot recently. This goes back to the "grey areas" I mentioned in the last post. After some of the things I've been dealing with as of late, I've mostly decided that I'm going to start opening my mouth. You know, express my opinions, concerns, frustrations, etc. I've always been the kind of person to just shut up and deal unless someone really strikes a nerve. However, lately I've found that holding everything in has taken a toll on me. And when someone strikes a nerve, instead of being able to just express whatever I feel the need to express, I blow up. It's really not good.  My struggle is, I don't know where to draw the line. Or IF I even should draw a line. Should I just open up about everything? Should I only open up about the things that really relate to me (good or bad)? I love the idea of being about to just spill and have a sense of peace that I'm just being myself. I like the idea of having the mindset...

I've come to the conclusion that my life is an ongoing psychological battle. What I mean by "life" is every little thing we all do on a day to day basis, as well as those things that are only done every so often, and everything in between. For most people, it seems, when it comes to right and wrong/good and bad/this or that, there are clear paths to take. Not for me. Everything is a grey area for me.  I'm just going to get real and tell my story. Or a part of it at least. It may take a few posts, but maybe it'll make sense.  I was diagnosed with Depression/Anxiety in August 2010, after a week stay at a mental facility. To be honest, it was long overdue. Looking back on things now, I really should have known and gotten help before. I guess I can say I'm grateful for the way things played out to get me where I am now. It's been a road. A very wide, very dirty, very bumpy road. I've learned a lot about myself over the last 5 years. Things that I never ...